Tuesday, July 30

I think Sunday was only the second time I have gone to the movies by myself.  The last time was shortly after I retired and I walked out of it.  terrible.  I went to see "The Heat" Sunday and it was really funny although a bit "raunchy".  I needed some laughs.  Bought a medium diet coke and a medium popcorn and it was almost $9.00 ! plus it was way more than I needed.  Nonetheless, it was a good enough experience that I will probably do it again.

I did some errands yesterday and feel like my desk is not quite so crowded with things to do.  Then I went to buy a few things for the trip.  I realized when I did laundry this past weekend that my underwear might not pass "muster" at my daughter's so bought some.  Found a cute jacket and some capris to take on the trip as well.  Some mornings will probably be a little cool.

Today was hard.  I got up and got ready and went to see Cowboy.  He was asleep when I got there.  The staff told me he had a very restless night.  I watched him sleep for about an hour and then woke him up and insisted he get up and out.  He didn't want to and wouldn't consider going outside although it was pretty nice this morning.    I decided to try to get him to walk around inside the unit and he agreed to that.

When he started out of his room he was very unsteady.  He kept moving his walker forward and then backward like it wasn't working right.  He did this over and over again all the way around (the long way) to his table.  Seemed like he thought it wasn't working right but it was working just fine.  It took a very long time from his room to the dining table.  He was very non-communicative at lunch, although he did eat fairly well.    After he ate his spaghetti and garlic bread he refused his vegetables and then ate his cake.  He kept dropping it in his lap and then trying to pick it up with his fork.    Hard to watch.

We went back to his room after lunch and I asked him if he knew who I was.  He said yes and when I asked him who he said "LaRaine".  She is his sister who he has not seen in several years.

I have been told many times that the changes don't occur gradually so much as all at once and that seems to be the case.  He was definitely not the same today and seemed very different.

I almost broke down coming home today.  Such a beautiful, smart engaging man  reduced to someone who I don't even know.   Not unexpected but hard just the same.

I have had three "drinks" this afternoon.   Really should try to get a handle on myself.