Wednesday, June 29

Monday was absolutely crazy.  Marsha came from 10 to noon but Gena also came but she was late.  It was 12:30PM.  In the meantime the cleaning people showed up at noon to do the floors and then about 1 the nurse supervisor came. My efforts to coordinate all of it didn't work out to well.   But, Cowboy is clean, the house is clean and I was able to straighten out the overlap between Gena and Marsha.  The supervisor will come on the 5th and sign us out.  The good news is then we have just Marsha and she is a great help and I know exactly when she will be here.

On Tuesday a couple of my bandmates were here at 9AM for a short practice and then we went to an Alheimers hospital to play.  I took Cowboy with us.  He sat in the back and did fine.  I told the manager of the facility why he was there and she said she could tell the minute he walked in.  Interesting.  A lot of people tell me they can't really tell he has dementia.

Last night I put Cowboy's pills on the dining table by his supper.  When I looked I found him trying to balance the pills on his fork.  The dog was standing right next to him.  I had visions of his dropping the pills on the floor and the dog lapping them up.  I told him not to do that but to take them in his hand and he did.  a potential serious problem averted.

Today Marsha was back.  I took the dog to the groomer, went to Walmart and bought some goodies for the great grandchildren that are coming on Friday, took the dog home and then wentand got gas and went to the grocery store.

Marsha said that after she bathed him, before she could turn around, he was shaking powder all over himself and all over his clothes.  He keeps a tin of powder for his feet when it is warm and they sweat.  Right now we are concentrating on getting the ointment on him and the powder interfered with that.  I told Marsha not to worry, I would wipe off the powder and apply the ointment tonight.  She is very meticulous and concientious which I like but she worries about things.

My grandson and his family will be here Friday for a day or two.  I bought them some things to play with and some candy and food to prepare.  I suspect my grandson, who is 28, and just bought a house may want some of the things in that pile in the garage.

Sunday, June 26

Seemed like there was a lot to do yesterday.  Got all the laundry done and the ironing and cleaned up the washer and dryer.

In the afternoon I was going over some correspondence and Cowboy kept walking into the study and looking over my shoulder.  A little later I was working on some photo files and he did the same thing.  I asked him if he was "restless".  He said he was so we took a ride.  We got an ice cream cone and just did the Sunday drive bit (albeit on Saturday!).  He seemed to really enjoy himself.  Stayed out about 2 hours.

This morning after breakfast I was standing in front of him and he picked something off of my blouse.  I think it was some food of some kind.  He fed it to the dog.  I asked him what it was and he kind of grinned and it was a "worm" and then he laughed.  I haven't seen that much sense of humor in a long time.  

As I have said before I love Sundays.  Spent a lot of time with the paper and then this afternoon a book.

Cowboy is really eating well.  I made him a sugar free banana pudding tonight and he really relished it.

Friday, June 24

At the suggestion of the occupational therapist I bought a dry erase board and put down the season, date, our address and telephone number.  We have had it for a couple of weeks.  Now I have to remember to update it every day.  I have only forgotten once.  Can't tell if he pays much attention.  I always tell him every morning what day it is and what will be going on that day.

We went to the Dr. yesterday afternoon.  It is our internist/primary care Dr.s opinion that Cowboy has stabilized and that the Aricept is doing its job.  He said he could stay in this stable state for a very long time.  I asked how long and he said "months, years".  I have to say that things are quite manageable at present and certainly welcome him being stable and in a good humor.  There is a down side.  Years of limitations on me.  Maybe I will finally get to some of those projects I have put off for months/years.

I feel that is going pretty well.  He is mobile and able to feed himself and toilet himself and is reasonably alert a good deal of the time.  He seems content.

I talked to the VA this morning and when the Home Health service stops on the 12th of July they will add another day for 2 hours.  That will give me 2 hours on Monday, 5 on Wednesday and 2 on Friday.  That is not always going to match up with things I might want to do but is a good bit of time to take care of errands, shopping and some social time.  I am hoping to get in some exercise as well.

Thursday, June 22

Got my teeth cleaned Wed morning.  Took Cowboy with me.  He did OK.  Marsha came at 10 and I did a couple of quick errands and then came back and joined some friends for lunch and some messing around.  Had a nice lunch with about 15 ladies from our neighborhood and then 4 of us went a checked out a couple of cool stores downtown.

Last night we watched the Presidents speech.  Cowboy is interested in the war as a former soldier.  About 45 minutes after that we were watching a talent show and he asked me when the President was going to speak.  He had forgotten that he had watched it just a bit earlier.

Gena is here bathing him right now.  This afternoon we go see our primary care Dr. 

I found out our city has a program called "Take Me Home".  It is a database of persons who may get lost with contact information, etc.  I am filling out the paperwork and taking his picture today so he will be in their database.

Tuesday, June 21

Cowboy and I went to the western store yesterday.  It is in the city and takes about 50 minutes or so to get there.  I told Cowboy to go on to the jean department and I would be there as soon as I went to the bathroom.  Came out of the bathroom and couldn't find him.  He was picking out a bolo tie in a different area of the store.  He has about 25 of them and rarely wears them anymore.  What to do?

We got the jeans picked out and tried on.  It is a bit of work for him because he has to take off his boots but he did OK.  Once that was done he decided to get a white shirt.  We found a rack that had some nice ones and he proceeds to take off his shirt to try it on.  I suggested we take it to the dressing room.  He just kept taking it off and tried the other one on.  It fit fine and it was time to go.  I turn around and he is taking his pants down in the aisle so he can tuck his shirt back in.  Too late.  It was done.  Sometimes I don't think things out to their conclusion, obviously. 

We stopped for some coffee and a snack and then headed back home in the afternoon rush hour traffic.  I long for the days when I had more control of my time.  Have always found it best to do errands and such early in the day.  That often can't be arranged these days.

Monday, June 20

Have a couple of music gigs coming up so am working on that a bit.  The plan is to take Cowboy with me.  I have done that twice and it worked out OK.

Sunday was quiet and nice.  Cowboy watched history shows all day.  I tried to get him to exercise but he just said he would and then didn't. 

Gena was pretty late today.  It is 1PM and she is just now here.  Not a big deal except I planned on our going shopping for some jeans and shirts today and it is supposed to get up to 103 so would have preferred that it not be so late.  We are going anyway in a few minutes.

Got some more work done on projects this morning.  The storage room is going to be very well organized, at least to start. 

People ask me all the time how Cowboy is doing.  I can't get into his head but he appears to be in a good humor and is stable as far as his behavior goes.  He is eating better and mostly sleeping better although some nights I could not say that.  I would say we are doing well at this point.

Saturday, June 18

Had fun last night.  There were four of us.  We talked about just about everything and enjoyed a really good Italian meal.   I am so fortunate to have such lovely friends.  It is really good for me to have a social life. 

I worked on my project today.  I ran across Cowboy's chaps from his motorcyle years (1986 to 2007).   I was going through his closet and removing his jeans that now swallow him so could figure out what he needs and they were hanging in the back of the closet.  I folded them and was carrying to the pile of stuff for the kids to go through and he asked where I was going with his chaps.  I told him that his daughter and her husband had gotten a motorcycle and they could probably use them.  "You are never going to wear them again.  Why not let her have them?"  Well, he shook his head no in a very deliberate manner so I said  "I will put them back in your closet."   A bit later he went in there to check to make sure they were there.   His motorcycling and those years are very important to him and full of memories.  It makes sense that he needs a connection to that.

 I did figure out that he is a bit short on pants because he lost 2 inches in his waist.  (and I think about 5 in his butt !)    Cowboy won't wear anything but western cut clothes so we will need to make a run to a western store soon.  Even his shirts kind of hang on him but I am really hoping to put a bit of weight back on him so don't think I will spring for too many smaller shirts just yet.  He is up 3 pounds.

When his youngest daugher was here last week she took a few things home and I expect each of the kids will want to do that.  Had to mail some decorator items to my daughter in upstate New York.  Got that off yesterday.  I really believe I will feel "lighter" when I get done with all of this mess.

Friday, June 17

We went to Whataburger yesterday and Cowboy ate all of his sandwish and drank some coffee.  We received a fruit bouquet yesterday from one of our daughters for Fathers day.  We have been feasting on pineapple, melons and chocolate covered bananas and strawberries.  mmmm good

The occupational therapist made his last visit this morning and released him.  I am hoping he will keep doing the exercises.  Will have to remind him.

Marsha was here for 2 hours and I went to a neighborhood coffee then ran down and picked up some filiments to clean his hearing aids and grabbed a subway sandwich for Cowboy. 

He is sleeping now, tummy full and tired from exercising and his bath.  Tonight a friend is going to come over and sit with Cowboy and I am going to dinner with a couple of girlfriends.  They spend part of their summers up north so we are going to visit a bit.

Thursday, June 16

The days seem to go by so quickly.  I am trying to "live in the moment" but find myself worrying about future things.  Will we have to get twin beds?  He thrashes around but hasn't come near hitting me or anything but the doctor thinks that may happen at some point.   Will he do something I am not expecting when I am not paying attention?

Yesterday Marsha came and I went to the base.  It was an upper when I found some Vera Bradley flip flops and a hat.  Didn't know they had them.  Cute, not too much money and so cheerful.  Now that school is out there little kids everywhere.  That plus the security restrictions make it a real chore but I save a good bit at the commissary so feel like should do it.

The occupational therapist made a visit yesterday afternoon at 4.  A little difficult to get Cowboy motivated that late in the day.  He tends to be a little tired.  One more visit on Friday and he will be released.    More therapy can be arranged later if it seems like he needs it but my gut tells me that we will rock along OK if I nudge him along.

The Nurse supervisor told me on Monday that they will release him on July 12th.  That means we will be down to Marsha twice a week.  Plan to go back to the VA and try for 2 hours on Monday.  That way he will get three baths and shaves and I will get a little help around here.  It also means I will have more control on our time and maybe can get back to the gym a couple of times a week.  Cowboy does better with that than getting motivated at home.  Right now I never know until the last minute when people are going to show up and pretty much have to stay at the house.

Last night we had meat loaf for dinner and Cowboy put honey on it.  I asked him why and he did not reply.  He ate it, wonder of wonders.  He continues to eat a bit better.  I put some nuts by his chair and he is even munching on them a little bit.

We are having book club at my house this morning.  I hope the timing works out.  I put Cowboy in the bedroom in front of his new TV.  Gena is due today but she has been coming about 11:30 to noon so we will be through by then.  If she comes earlier I will just send her to him and keep going.  These ladies are friends and neighbors so they will be OK with it I think.  a small interruption.  I need the mental stimulation and the social time. 

Afterward I am going to take Cowboy and go pick up my purse at the repair shop, take some things to Goodwill and maybe we will go get some lunch.  He likes getting out.

Monday, June 13

I spent Friday and Saturday cleaning and getting some groceries in.  On Sunday Cowboy's daughter arrived with two of their 4 children.  Then today their Dad and the other two got here.  Had a really nice visit but lots of noise and confusion.   They have a 9 year old and triplet 6 year olds so they are a handful.

I fixed blueberry pancakes for breakfast and they really liked that.  They are on their way to Sea World for a couple of days.

Cowboy enjoyed observing the kids at play but didn't interact much.  He watched one of the girls the whole time she ate her lunch with a little smile on his face. 

It is terribly hot out so not able to get out.

Thursday, June 9

Gena is here and Cowboy is getting his bath and a shave. 

Yesterday was my day out and I got a haircut, a pedicure and did a little shopping, mostly groceries.  Cowboy has eaten really well the last couple of days.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason to any of it.  I will think he should be hungry and he will barely touch his food and other times he eats everything.  At least his weight has stabilized.

I bought a new toaster oven and when I got it home I found it was dirty and caked with food.  Someone must have returned it and it wasn't checked out.  Very disgusting.  I suggested to Cowboy that we get out and go take it back and he liked that idea so off we went.  I asked him on the way if he liked being out and he said yes.  We have been pretty much at home the last few days and it was good for him.

The occupational therapist was here yesterday and will come three more times and then will be done.  I think it is helping a bit with his balance. He hasn't fallen now in several weeks, although he has come close a few times.

Monday, June 6

Last night about 2:30 I wake up to Cowboy throwing the bed covers around.  I ask him what he is doing and he says he is looking for his "stuff".  He gets down and looks under the bed and then gets up and walks around the room and then goes to his closet and then back.  I fell back asleep thinking he was coming back to bed.  This morning I discovered all the boxes under the bed pulled out and opened.  These boxes contain his army dress uniform and his dress blues as well as his military dress shoes and caps.  They have been in those boxes since 1981.

I suggested to him this morning that we put them in the storage room I am setting up and that way he can get to them.  He agreed.  He kept his dress shoes out and put them in his closet.  Then he seemed satisfied.

Gena is here giving him a bath.  Later this afternoon my handyman is going to remove the mirror in our bedroom so I can get the TV set up and also put up one more set of shelves in the storage room.

I am going to Bunco tonight.  One of the band members said she would sit with Cowboy.  Will be good to get out for a couple of hours.

Sunday, May 5

I slept really well last night for the first time in several nights.  He has been really restless the past few nights, moaning, moving around etc. but if he was doing it last night I slept right through it.

I made sausage, eggs and pancakes this morning and he ate every bite.  He wouldn't eat hardly anything last night even though I cooked a nice meal of spinach salad, stroganoff noodles and beef.  This is something he would normally eat but he barely touched anything.  I am beginning to think I fail just about every time I fix beef.  That seems strange but of course, his taste and smell are out of whack.  I do feel discouraged sometimes about finding ways to be sure he eats.

Friday, Jason, an occupational therapist came and Cowboy was very cooperative and worked with him for almost an hour. 

Friday evening I played at a local museum open house with the dulcimer group.  It was actually quite nice out so afterward we walked around the downtown square and then stopped for coffee.  He got his exercise Friday for sure.  Good thing.  It is so warm outside that it hard to get out and walk or anything.

Thursday, June 2

Supposed to be 100 degrees today.  Wonder what August will be.

Cowboy and I celebrated our 34th wedding anniversary yesterday.  It was also Marsha's day to cover for me so I could get out.  I went out and did errands, some shopping and bought groceries.  Last night we went to an Italian restaurant and had a good meal.  He had asked me the other day about ordering an army ring for him.  The one he always wore just falls right off of him at this point.  We ordered it for his anniversary present but it is not here yet. 

He has always said there are two things he is really proud of in his life.  The first is his success in the Army.  The second is the 10 years he spent teaching Motorcycle Safety Training.  Both represent service so he should be proud.

Last night he was restless.  He kept raising up in the bed and looking around, laying back down and then repeating that.  It seemed like he was in one of his hallucinatory states.  You almost felt like he was seeing something when he raised up and looked.

Marsha said he didn't want lunch yesterday but he ate pretty well last night and he ate all his breakfast of  2 eggs and 2 slices of toast and orange juice this morning.

I am still spending some time most days going through old stuff.  This morning I found his report card from the 8th grade.  It was excellent !  There is also a toy soldier from he was a small boy that is literally in pieces but he still has it.  I also found a wooden box full of army pins and things.  In the same pile are golf tees, pen refills, and just junk.  He has never much cared to organize the memorabilia of his life but I remember well the day I met him.  There was not a single piece of paper on his desk and you could have eaten off the floor.  That was all about presenting impeccable military discipline.  When he was in the military he went and got a haircut every week to set an example for the young soldiers.

Right now Cowboy is getting his bath and shave and then I am going to take him to get a haircut and go to the base and pick up my glasses that I had repaired.  That will be enough for today.