Tuesday, January 31

I felt pretty lousy yesterday so did practically nothing.  Am coughing and sneezing.

Today I was going to lunch with some neighborhood ladies.  I got in my car and found the battery was dead.  I hitched a ride to lunch with friends and called the garage.  They came out and got the car and checked it out.  I had assumed would need a new battery but everything checked out fine.  Have no idea what happened.

The band practice this afternoon as I continued to cough and feel less than great...  and the dog got out and two pens ran out of ink during practice and so much for january.

Sunday, January 29

Can't believe it is almost Feb. 

Last night about 2AM I woke up and Cowboy was in his closet opening drawers and rummaging around.  I just shouted at him and asked him what he was doing and he said he was "getting ready to go".  I told him it was the middle of the night and to come back to bed.  He did.  This morning I asked him if he remembered and he said yes.  He was getting ready to "deploy". 

We had our concert this afternoon.  I took Cowboy two hours before and asked him to sit in the back where I could see him.  He sat right there through our warm up and all the way through the concert.  It went well.

We went to a little after party but didn't stay too long.  I still don't feel great and he just sits there and does not interact at all so I suspect he does not particularly enjoy it.  The doc said he needs social opportunities so we keep trying.  Our neighborhood is having a party for Valentines.  I think we will try that.

At least we got a good bit of food at the party so can kick back this evening and finally read the Sunday paper.

Saturday, January 28

We had our last rehearsal this morning.  It went well.  A fellow came over to sit with Cowboy who is a neighbor and friend.   He just had knee surgery recently but is doing well and walked over here and everything.  I am going to have to take him with me when I go about 2 hours before the concert tomorrow.  Am hoping he does OK.  I asked a friend today if her hubby would keep an eye on him.  I will be on the stage and wrapped up in a pre-concert warm-up and all of that.    Not sure if I can keep doing this.  I don't think it is easy for folks to appreciate the time and effort involved in finding "sitters" and feeling guilty about bothering people. 

So many wonderful neighbors and friends who offer but you always wonder if they really mean it or are just being "nice". 

I tried to finish up the laundry today because they are working on the water lines tomorrow and we are supposed to limit our use.  Success !

I have a cough and don't feel my best but am doing OK.  Every time I coughed last night Cowboy would raise up and look around and then lay back down and go back to sleep.  He didn't seem particularly aware that what woke him was me.  If I shifted my weight or got up to go to the bathroom he did the same thing.  We both ended up a bit tired and draggy this morning.

This coming week is going to be busy.  I got a letter from the VA that is a little hard to explain in detail but has to do with Cowboy being incompetent and who will handle his VA money.  There will be hearing, etc.  I try not to worry but you hear so many horror stories.  Should just be a formality.  I have been doing everything for a long time now.  My plan is to go visit with them this next week and find out how this is likely to go, etc.

We also have an appointment for tests at the VA clinic that they have asked for.  Don't know what that is about but may be related to the request for help at home this year.  There is a lot of bureaucracy involved in the way this all works.  I try to just go with it.

Also got a letter that they had increased his rating for his PTSD.  I "think" this means we will be at 100%.  This would be very good news as our state forgives your property taxes if you are 100%.  Plan to talk to them about that as well.

Anyhow, lots to do.

Friday, January 27

We had a good time Wednesday.  We hit some furniture stores, I fell in love with a sectional and now must not let that overwhelm my good judgement.  Looked at rugs, found a couple I rather like.  Don't have a clue what I should do if anything.  Shall continue to ponder.  Need to get quote on recovering the sofa because that plays into what will end up doing.

We had lunch at a really neat pub and went to Whole Foods.  Ended up being 15 minutes late getting home.  Felt like a real girls good time.

Yesterday the visiting nurse came and I really don't need them anymore.  The wound is almost closed.
I then took Cowboy to the barber shop for a haircut.  Back home, spent some time with a fellow musician on Sunday's music.

Today was nice.  I have a friend who lost her husband a few weeks ago.  We had a  long leisurely lunch.  She is still very much in an adjustment period.  Hope it helped her to visit with a friend.  We talked about lots of different things...  and I had Mexican food which I have been craving for some time.  Cowboy just doesn't care to eat it much anymore.   We spent the rest of the afternoon watching old black and white movies and I played with my NOOK games.  Time to fix dinner

Wednesday, January 25

It is pouring rain outside which is great.  It is also my day out and a couple of friends and I are going to browse some stores, have lunch and go to Whole Foods. We are going to go anyway.

Cowboy sat there last night and picked at his wound and it started bleeding.  Had not bled in several days.  I don't know what to do with him!!  I got it all cleaned up and wrapped up but since I have told him numerous times to leave it alone what more can I do?  There was blood all over the floor.  Thank goodness it is tile and not carpet in the living area.  I was sitting right there just watching TV and didn't realize what he had done quickly enough.

I spent Monday working on our taxes and about have it licked.  I hate the whole business and try to get it done and out of the way as soon as I can.  Still waiting on a couple of things.

I did some cleaning yesterday and reminded myself again to try to find someone to do the floors.  It really is not good for my back and my arthritis to push the vacuum cleaner and I sure don't need to get down.  It is going to take getting recommendations, interviewing and agreeing on price, time, etc. 

I love my new Bose music system.  It was definitely a splurge but there is nothing like listening to good music with good sound to soothe the soul.  Let's call it cheap therapy.

Sunday, January 22

Friday Marsha was here from 11 to 2 and I met some ladies that I had served on committee with for lunch.  We ended spending almost the whole three hours just talking and catching up. 

I got an email from a neighbor and friend who offered to look after Cowboy some evening so I could go out.  I may just take her up on it but not until after our concert on the 29th.  I rarely go out at night.  Would be nice to have dinner and a movie or such.

Saturday we had a three hour rehearsal and Cowboy was looked after by a couple who are dear friends.  Just one more week and the concert will be done. 

This morning we went to McDonalds and Cowboy had breakfast burritos.  He seemed to enjoy it.  We then went to the grocery and picked up just a few things.  He pushed the cart and did OK.  He had forgotten his cane and I worry about him walking without it.

I am about ready to go to bed and read for a while.  My new NOOK is wonderful.  I don't have to turn on any lights and bother Cowboy.  There was a time when we both went to bed with a book and read, sometimes into the night.  He doesn't read anymore although he does look at the newspaper and magazines sometimes. 

Thursday, January 19

Things have been pretty calm this week.  I did go for a mammogram Tuesday (routine) and then I took Cowboy with me and we went to the drugstore and the grocery store.  He moves very slowly so it took all morning but he needs exercise and to get out.

Tuesday afternoon the band practiced.  We have a couple of gigs coming up at two day care programs.  I plan to just take Cowboy with me.

Marsha was here yesterday and I had six hours and not much in the way of plans.  Went to the mall and to a couple of furniture stores and looked around and back home.

We had book club this morning at my house.  I just put Cowboy and the dog on the bed with the TV and it worked out fine.  He never even peeked out.

The doctor told me to start the application process for the VA home. There is a waiting list of up to six months to get into their memory care unit.  I have not done so yet.  I just can't seem to get started.  Guess I just don't want to think about it.  He may be fine at home for a good long while.  On the other hand, one of these days he may just start going down quickly.  I will get it done soon.

Tonight he ate everything on his plate !!  We had grilled tilapia, fried squash, potato salad and cucumbers. 

Sunday, January 15

A friend came over yesterday and sat with Cowboy so I could go to Dulcimer practice.  We are two weeks away from our annual concert.  It is the fifth year and we always collect hundreds of pounds of food and hundreds of dollars for our local food pantry.  It is a good project.  It is at the local church and we have about 400 people most times.

It was a beautiful day so when I got back I took Cowboy to the Whataburger for lunch.  He ate those french fries right up.  If it isn't good for him he laps it up, if it is vegetables not so much.  I have just decided that it is not so terribly important.

Last night I had a tummy ache all night and got little sleep.  Don't know what it was but was cramping.  So today have done little.  Even took a little nap.  Cowboy is in a good humor today and seems content to play with the dog and watch TV.  He has even been rather affectionate which is rare these days. 

There was a time when thank you and please were a part of hCowboy's vocabulary.  These days he is largely quiet but this morning he said thank you when I got him his coffee.  The doc said sometimes he would be nearly normal.  That is today.

I always hear from somebody when I don't post every couple of days.  I don't want to bore if you are reading the blog and sometimes things seem pretty mundane.   I so appreciate those who read and keep up with us.

Friday, January 13

Good grief !  Is it Friday already ?   ( and the 13th to boot).

Monday we did next to nothing.  How does that happen?  Tuesday we had an appointment at the vet for our dog.  She is doing wonderful as it turns out.  Other than gaining a pound since last year she is very healthy.  Good to know.

Wednesday Marsha was here and I went to the base and picked up my new glasses, shopped the PX and the commissary and came back.  It is amazing how much an additional hour makes. Didn't feel rushed and was able to pick up some good buys.

Thursday the visiting nurse came and said his wound had shrunk considerably since the last time she measured it.  Cannot remember the exact numbers but it is obvious it is healing up.  I will  be so relieved when we are done with this.  Spent the rest of the day cleaning.  I need to find someone to do the floors !

Today my handyman friend came and we worked on straightening out the wiring in the study.  Now have a "recharging station" for the IPOD, the cellphone, the NOOK tablet and the two cameras.  I went and got a much needed haircut and then spent the rest of the day fixing up the study to make it nice and well organized. 

Cowboy has been doing well this week.  He is eating pretty well (lots of bananas) and mostly is watching TV.  Am going to have to get him out of his chair more.  We did go to the car dealer yesterday and get the oil changed and he walked around looking at the cars.   Then I took him to Cracker Barrel for lunch and it was good.  He ate every bite.  I think has gained back about 3 pounds.

We both got a bath and a slathering of cream on our skin last night.  It is cold and dry right now.

Sunday, January 8

Cowboy seems lethargic today.  He didn't get up til late.  He did eat breakfast and lunch but has just sat in his chair all day. 

This afternoon I suggested we go for a walk and suprisingly he agreed.   We walked around the block with our pup.  It is cloudy and there is some cooler weather moving in tonight.  Could that be it?

I finished the laundry, read the paper, cleaned off the top of my desk and sent out some ecards.  Mostly just piddlin' around.

I am not a  big TV person and I have to admit sometimes I would like to throw a shoe at it.  I just want to turn it off.  It is on all the time.  He watched two John Wayne movies and I don't know how many episodes of Law and Order today.    Yesterday it was Walker, Texas Ranger nearly all day.  There are other TV's in the house but he is resistant to anyplace but his easy chair in the living room.

If I stay in the study or any other room very long, he comes looking for me.  There seems to be a growing need to have me right there, day and night.  The way our house is arranged I am generally either right there or just around the corner.  I guess that is a good thing.

Am going to have to take him with me and run to the store in the morning.  Am not going to last til Wednesday when Marsha is here.  It is good for him to get out but it also means it will take a long time.  I just have to have the attitude that he is my most important job right now.

Saturday, January 7

Marsha was here for three hours yesterday and I had lunch with a friend and did a little shopping.  It was a beautiful day and a very nice time.  When I got back Marsha reported that Cowboy ate the applesauce but wouldn't touch the tuna salad or veggies.  He had eaten a good breakfast and a banana so what can I do?  I took him down to a little restaurant near home and got him some catfish.  He ate every bite.  There is no rhyme or reason to this.  One time when I fix something he will eat it and the next time he won't.

Cowboy got up before me this morning.  He turned on the TV and was obsessing that something was wrong with the TV.  He kept saying "There is something wrong with the TV."  He said it was in "dual mode".  Well yes it is and always has been and has always displayed that when you work the remote.  Is he just now noticing something that has been there for years?  I tried to explain what it was and it was fine but he kept telling me "There is something wrong!"  Finally convinced him and he settled down.

I started going to dulcimer practice again today and will continue at least through the concert at the end of the month.  A lovely friend came over and sat with Cowboy.  I have someone lined up for next Saturday but still need to find someone for the rest of the month.  I don't know what I would do without my "angels".

Thursday, January 5

Monday I went to the dentist for a cleaning and to check on a sore spot on my gums.  Turns out there was a popcorn hull stuck in my gum.  Everything is good and healthy.

Both of us have now had eye appointments, dentist cleanings and hopefully will now have fewer doctor appointments.

Tuesday AM I had my follow up on my arm.  It looks good I am told.  I will be so glad when we get all this staph business behind us.  It has taken a toll in time and energy (and comfort)

Tuesday the band started practicing again.  We kicked it off by having an informal meal after practice.  One of the ladies brought shrimp creole and everyone brought salad, bread, dessert, drinks, etc.  Was a really nice time.  Cowboy sat down with us and ate everything except salad.  Maybe I should get the recipe !

While Marsha was here on Wednesday I went to Barnes and Noble and took a short NOOK class.  It was very helpful.  I found out several things I needed to know.  One of the most important is that now I can read a book in bed without the light on.  Cowboy really wants me in bed earlier than I like and this way I can read without disturbing his rest.  I also went to a couple of stores and just browsed and then bought groceries.

I started getting everything together this week for taxes.  I am an early bird on getting that kind of thing done so can keep tabs on where we are.

Cowboy is showing some new behaviors of late.  I don't know if you would call it compulsive obsessive but he goes around shutting doors if they are open and turning off lights.  On the one hand that is good but he keeps turning off a light when I am planning on being in that room doing something.  We use the flourescent bulbs and they take a little while to get to full light so I will flip on the kitchen lights as I go by knowing I plan to come back and do something in the kitchen.  When I arrive I find the lights are off.  Or I will be hauling laundry from the laundry room to the bedrrom and when I get there the door is shut and I don't have a free hand to open it.

He also is once again refusing to wear the athletic clothes to protect the wound.  All I can do is wrap it up good and keep an eye out.  and then he will take his pants off and take the bandage off to "check it". 

No appointments or anywhere to be today.  YEAH!  I cooked a pot roast today and Cowboy ate the vegetables and some bread but very little of the meat.  So much for that.  I am about to decide to limit his diet to fish and chicken.  It is all I can count on him eating and then sometimes not even that.  I also think I am going to spend less time worrying about what he eats.  I am driving myself nutty and what for?    Plus we have an awful lot of wasted food and I have a hard time with that as well.  If he isn't going to eat salad why do I buy it?   It is time to simplify a bit and not obsess about it. 

Sunday, January 1

I just realized I have been keeping this blog for almost a year.  It has been very helpful.  Those who have an interest can check and I don't find myself spending tons of time answering individual inquiries.  Maybe even more important I think it has been good for me.  I shall continue.

We took Cowboy to the plastic surgeon on Thursday morning and he got an exellent report on his knee wound.  It is healing just as it should and she thinks it will be completely well in another 4 or 5 weeks.  We are to just keep doing what we are doing.  She asked if anything else was going on and I told her about the new sores.  She took a look.  Her opinion is that Cowboy's are  minor and the antibiotic they have us on should knock them out.  She looked at mine and said was a bad idea to leave until next week and asked if I would like for her to take care of it.  Wow, how often does that happen.  Not on her schedule, not even her patient and she offers to take care of me.  We left the office with me a happy camper (although shots under the arm are not fun).  When we got home had a message from our PCP and they did find staph in both our noses so he ordered some nose cream for us both plus said to continue with the phisohex baths once a week.

You know, one of the things that is wrong with Medicare are the requirements that the nurse come on a regular schedule and for a certain period of time whether you need them or not.  Think about it.  Cowboy saw 2 Dr.s and then a nurse in three days.  Should be able to manage all of that better.

After we left the Dr.  I took Cowboy to IHOP.  Bad idea.  I think the entire world decided to visit IHOP this past Thursday.  Had to wait for a table and then 45 minutes for our food and it was noisy with an unhappy toddler very near us.  Cowboy couldn't wait to get out of there (but he did eat all his food).

Friday the nurse came and left dressings and tape, etc. and checked Cowboy.  She had not gotten out the door until our handyman came.  I needed a toilet paper dispenser repaired and a new shower head installed and then he put up the outside Christmas decor.  He is such a jewel.

Marsha came before he left so I was running around, sans makeup and not making any progress getting ready to leave.  Once I got out the door I went and had a pedicure and read my paper.  This was followed by getting the car filled and washed and a stop for a few grocery items.  Tons of people everywhere.  Guess because the kids are out of school and lots of Moms and Dads are off.  Three hours are up!

I got up and fixed breakfast this morning and then took my shower.  Was trying to get the tape residue off my arm and get a new dressing on.  It would be much easier if I had three arms instead of two.  But things are coming along.

My neighbor across the street, who also has a small dog, is taking our dog with them when they walk.  Some background.  Friday afternoon I had a call from a neighbor who had found a dog and thought it might be ours.  It wasn't but I thought it might belong to a lady I know a few houses down and around the block.  I couldn't get her on the phone so I went looking to see if she might be out looking for her dog.    Couldn't find her but when I got home Cowboy asked me where I had been and that he had been looking for me.  Then a neighbor called and said she saw him out walking and when she asked him where he was going he said he was looking for me.  I am going to cut down how many times I leave for more than a very few minutes.  I have such amazing neighbors and feel so blessed.  We just look out after each other (and each others dogs!)